I let four days get away from me this week and I barely noticed! It's been a truly transformational week over here in every way. In my body, my home, and my heart.
Let's start with the home: I read the Magic of Tidying Up like a bible and transformed our home into a sanctuary for all the things we hold dear. The philosophy is so simple: Keep only the things that spark joy when you see or hold them. I've always had a very clean and cleverly stored house, but it wasn't until I pulled everything out that I realized how much stuff I was hanging onto. We took over 30 bags of trash and donations out of the house. I discovered that I had 3 main categories of keeping something that didn't spark joy. 1. Because I loved it so much in the past (but not currently). 2. Because it was expensive. 3. Because I hadn't used it yet. When I let go of those things, what was left were the things I really cared about. A floral antique vase that belonged to my grandmother, a little buddha that I gave to my grandfather before he passed away, my best hand thrown mugs. Everything in my house has its own home; a place where it lives when it is not in use. The system is so simple, so loving, that this purge of things should be the final one. Moving forward, I am so much more conscious of my motivation for shopping. Our home feels light and both Matt and I are excited to keep it that way.
Now to my body: I have struggled my entire life with an eating disorder; an obsession with food and eating that takes a normal every day practise and turns it into a wicked game of whoever eats the most wins and I always win. Even though I'm really losing. I confronted this aspect of my life with my amazing life coach, Michaella, and had a complete breakdown on our call. I felt tender and tired for two days afterward, but then something incredible happened: when I finally let that stuff go, I realized that what's been an unhealthy obsession is also part of my life's greatest passion: cooking.
And finally, my heart: For sooo soooo long, I have felt that there is a greater calling that I wanted to take on, but I was never clear on what it was. It hit me like a truck the other day and I've been on a high ever since: I want to help people fall in love with cooking. For those people that want to be creative in the kitchen, but are overwhelmed by all the gadgets, spices, foods, and possible combinations they could make, I can help them build their confidence so that they feel powerful in the kitchen. Making a meal is such a sacred ritual for me and I believe that when you truly connect with this ritual every day, it helps you live more in the present and engage on a deeper level with all aspects of life. So where do I begin? That's the most exciting and terrifying part. One piece at a time, I'm figuring it out. During this week, I've noticed how normal I feel around food now. It's such a relief to not feel so trapped by my own obsession. It's only been a week and I can feel my body trimming down.
For these last few days, the incredible highs, the doubts, the piles of stuff, the friends, the sun, and this pool of ever-flowing creativity I've fallen into, deeply grateful.